


Goose Omens

by New1Romantic



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angel Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale is a goose, Demon Aziraphale (Good Omens), M/M, Reverse Omens, Untitled Goose Game - Freeform, honk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-24 08:55:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21096791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/New1Romantic/pseuds/New1Romantic
Summary: It is a beautiful day in The Garden, and you are a horrible goose.





	Goose Omens

It is a beautiful day in The Garden, and you are a horrible goose. Your name is Azirazel, and you have been told to ‘go up there and make some trouble’. You are a goose, so this shouldn’t be a problem. Just so you don’t forget, you write yourself a to-do list.

Getting into The Garden is simple. There are Angels guarding the gates, but you are a goose, so you just swim. 

You find The Garden fairly disappointing. There are only two humans to bother, and they have not made anything worth destroying. You find an apple tree with a sign that says DO NOT EAT. You take the sign.

This gives you an idea.

The woman sits down underneath the apple tree.

You honk.

In her surprise, she jumps up and knocks her head against a branch of the tree, causing an apple to fall. You find making the woman hurt herself is funny, and you decide to do this as often as you can.

You see that she is looking at the apple, and you look at the apple. With goose-fast reflexes, you pick it up and begin to drag it away. The woman gives chase, and takes the apple back away from you. She is staring at it now, and she turns it in her hands. Then she takes a bite.

Things take a turn for the worse at this point, as God rains down vitriol on the humans who committed the first sin. You decide to keep your head down and attempt to hide amongst the swans as you decide what trouble to cause next.

You notice one of the angels guarding the walls has a flaming sword. It glitters in the sun. 

You want it. 

You find the Angel after the ruckus has died down. He is standing on the wall, looking out at the Land of Nod. You waddle up to him, and give him your best honk.

The angel loses his footing and nearly falls from the wall. You are somewhat disappointed that he didn’t. He turns to you and looks unimpressed. “I won’t degrade myself to talk to a goose.” He says. 

You want to reply that he already  _ has _ been talking to a goose. But you are a goose, so you honk. 

“Really.” He huffs, “Come out of that form if you must talk.” He has long red hair that looks like fire, and sharp yellow eyes like the sun. You oblige him.

The two of you have a discussion about morality. He tells you about the Ineffability of the Almighty’s plans in a way that says he doesn’t really believe it, and you comment that free will can’t be all that bad. He comments that it was a nice idea, but the Almighty has to admit that Humans were just another failed experiment, and the Almighty should just start again (like she had with the dinosaurs). 

This reminds you of your mission, and you realise that the angel doesn’t have the sword. This disappoints you, as you had hoped to swing it around in front of Beelzebub. You ask the angel where it is.

“Sword? Oh, you mean that old thing.” He says, pretending to be casual. “Got rid of it. Figured I didn’t need it anymore.” He’s speaking too fast, and you don’t believe him. “I gave it away, okay!” He finally says. “They were… they looked… cold.” He admits. 

You are impressed.

You may be a goose. You may be a demon. But you have a heart, and you think it just melted a little bit. 


End file.
